I am afraid to FAIL
- ParsPax
- Jul 2, 2020
- 3 min read
Many people struggle from a fear of failure. I'm certain that millions of people forsake dreams, relationships, careers, or hobbies due to fear of failing.Nobody wants to fail. Fear of failure will be so strong that avoiding failure overshadows the motivation to succeed. Insecurity about doing things incorrectly causes many to unconsciously sabotage their chances to be successful.
Many psychologists have recognized that the underlying reason for fear of failure is fear of the resulting shame or embarrassment. Like receiving a failing grade in school, isn't the problem, it's the accompanying emotion of unworthiness that it provokes. People want to avoid this painful experience, so they self-sabotage or behave in self-protective ways, like not taking risks.
Trying and failing would confirm what they already fear — that they're not smart enough, talented enough, lovable enough, etc. The fear of confirming that unworthiness is stronger than the despair they feel at relinquishing their dream. This shows the ability of shame. Fear of failure is additionally tied to a fear of rejection. This is connected to the powerful natural desire to avoid feeling "less than" and shamed, then rejected and cast out. As a result, once we believe we is are ostracized, we generally have predictable reactions, including fear, humility, submission, and compliance.
When we anticipate that we may "fail" being judged by others as inadequate, we develop a fear of failing, because it's so closely linked primal, survival-related fear of being excluded socially.
Another is start by setting some small goals. These should be goals that are slightly, but not overwhelmingly, challenging. Think about these goals as "early wins" that are designed to assist in boosting your confidence. For example, if you have been too afraid to speak to your crush and you catch her sometimes watching you, then make that your first goal. arrange to walk up to her during the subsequent week to introduce yourself.Or, imagine that you have dreamed of returning to school to get your degree, but you're convinced that you are not smart enough to be accepted into the university. Set a goal to speak with a faculty counselor or admissions officer to work out what's required for admission.
Try to make your goals tiny steps on the route to much bigger goals. Don't target the big picture: having a relationship with you crush, or graduating with a degree. Just specialize in the following step: introducing yourself, and lecture an admissions officer. That's it.
Taking one small step at a time will help build your confidence, keep you moving forward, and forestall you from getting overwhelmed with visions of your final goal. Stop living in fear and do what you want to do..
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*This work is not intended to substitute for professional medical or counselling advice. If you suffer from a physical or mental illness, please always seek professional help.*
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